Sunday, April 11, 2010


So I had a wonderful weekend! I went up to Seattle and attend Veg Fest, but I will leave that for someone else to post about. I want to talk about Carson!

So Carson is my 2 year old nephew. Oh how I adore that little boy. I read his mom's blog today and cried and cried. I didn't even know I contained that many tears! I miss him so terribly. He is so sweet and cute. And since I don't have my own boy, and Gideyon is obsessed with Luke, I will just have to stick to Carson. I am almost at a loss for words, because how do you express all the emotions you have for one little boy? I know I can't love him as much as his mom or dad, but I sure feel like I do. When he came to our house I was totally willing to do anything and everything he asked. Never giving a second thought when asked for Buddy, much to his parents dismay. I wasn't very keen on letting him walk down the stairs alone, although I am sure he would have been perfectly capable. I just can't believe he is two years old. Walking and talking, and doing all the things a little boy should do. It just seems like every year has flown by. I feel almost old, my sister is an adult, my friends are preparing for the almight High school!
When people used to say time flies I would laugh inside, thinking it was still eons until my next birthday or Christmas. Now I understand, I understand that it seems to take forever to be big, and then once you're big you wish to be little again. Oh to have nothing to do but play outside or color in a coloring book, (outside the lines and with one wrong color marker, because no body actually cares!) To not feel bad because you got up at 10:00 in the afternoon. Or have schoolwork waiting at every turn. To never have to worry about a project due, or a paper that needs written. To spend hours pouring over your fake Barbie house, to do nothing all day but what you want. To eat nothing but chicken nuggets and hotdogs. Oh the days of a child!
I am not actually that old, but man alive I feel like it! I feel as though I have lived a very long time, even though it has actually been very short. I still have so many things in my life to do, but something about Carson makes me feel very old. Maybe because he is so little, or maybe because I know that when I am big he will be big.
Carson, I love you very much, and one day if you go back and read your aunts blog, you will find many a post about you and your sister. I love you both very, very much! I hope to see you soon.